Why did Michael Jackson call "Boys to Men"?
He thought it was a delivery service. |
A lady was in the stirrups at her gynaecologist's office having her annual checkup, when she heard the doctor talking to himself as he examined her: "My, what a big vagina! ...
My, what a big vagina!"
The lady was, to put it mildly, a bit annoyed. Being the assertive type she spoke up immediately: "Doctor, I can't believe what I'm hearing! I think it's incredibly unprofessional of you to say something like that. To sa
y such a thing once was bad enough, but twice is outrageous!"
"I'm very sorry," replied the doctor, "please forgive me. But just to set the record straight, I only said it ONCE Once once ..." |
One day, a blind man and his dog are walking down a street, they come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, leads t
he blind man out into the thick of traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.
The blind man and his dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other
side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket, and offers it to the dog.
A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding yo
ur dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"
The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass." |
| An Intel PC has four protections modes: Abort, Retry, Fail and Reboot. |
| Microsoft is not the answer - Microsoft is the question. The answer is no! |
| Linux - the ideal operating system for CPU's that are never powered up. |
A pilot is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 40
feet, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous. At last, through a small opening in the fog he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth fl
oor. Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window: "Hey, where am I?". The solitary office worker replies: "You're in an airplane.". The pilot immediately executes a swift 275 degree turn and executes a perfect blind landing on the airpo
rt's runway five miles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die from lack of fuel. The stunned passengers ask the pilot how he did it. "Elementary," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he ga
ve me was
| Windows 95: The first program, having its best-before-date include in its name. |
What is the difference between Jurassic Park and Microsoft?
One is an over-rated high tech theme park based on prehistoric information and populated mostly by dinosaurs
, the other is a Steven Spielberg movie. |
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch. |
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