|
|
A young lawyer who had taken over his father's practice rushed home totally elated.
"Dad, listen, you aren't going to believe this," he said to his father. "I've finall
y settled that old Whitmore suit."
"Settled it!" bellowed his father. "You bumbling idiot! We've been living off of that money for over five years now!" |
After drafting a will for an elderly client, the lawyer announced a fee of $100.
The client gave the lawyer a $100 bill.
After the client left, the lawyer saw t
hat the client had in fact paid $200, as two of the client's $100 bills had stuck together.
Looking at the $100 overpayment, an ethical question arose in the lawyer's mind: "Do I tell my partner?" |
Three men were standing side-by-side using the urinal.
The first man finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands ... clear up to his elbow
s ... He used about 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented: "I graduated from Harvard and they taught us to be clean."
The second man finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed
one paper towel and commented: "I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."
The third man zipped up and as he was walking out the door had a smirk on his face and said: "I don't know about y
ou guys, but where I went to college, they taught us not to piss on our hands." |
How do you call a positively charged pussy cat?
A CATion. |
How do you call a member of the finacial staff of the faculty of Biology?
A Buy-ologist. |
What did one lab rat say to the other?
I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack. |
How does natural selection differ from sexual selection?
In distinction to natural selection, sexual selection may be natural, unnatural, or perverted. |
How many Justices are there on the Florida Supreme Court?
No one knows. They are not finished counting yet! |
Why are all the unemployed in Palm Beach County, Florida sitting on the dock?
An elections official said he needed help to count votes, and they all thought he said he
needed help to count boats! |
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly ... and for the same reason. |
|
|
|
