|
|
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini. |
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. |
After hearing a pick-up line:
Woman: "I like your approach, now let's see your departure." |
What's the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds mature. |
A priest, Jesus, and an old man tee off.
The priest drives the green within 5 yards of the hole.
Jesus slices the ball and it goes into the water hazard. He qui
ckly runs across the water and hits his second onto the green 2 inches from the hole.
The old man tees off with a short worm burner that trickles into the hazard. Soon after a fish eats the ball and swims across the pond with it in its mouth. Ju
st then an eagle swoops down and snatches the fish with the golf ball and flies off. The eagle loses its grip and drops the fish on the green. The fish then spits out the ball and it rolls into the hole for a hole in one.
Jesus turns to the old
man and replies, "Play fair dad!" |
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
1) Three. One to prosecute, one to defend, one to screw it the same way they do everything else.
2) How many ca
n you afford? |
A salesman was given a hotel room next to one occupied by honeymooners.
The walls were thin, and the sounds of sustained sexual frenzy poured through. Finally the sales
man could stand it no longer. He pounded on the walls, yelling, "Knock it off, there's other people trying to get some sleep!"
From the other room came a weak, faltering male voice which said, "Yell louder, mister, she can't hear you!" |
Why don't men eat between meals.
There *IS* no "between" meals. |
What did the circle say to the tangent line?
"Stop touching me!" |
How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
1) None. real computer geeks prefer LEDs.
2) None. It's a hardware problem!
3) Just one. But the
house falls down.
4) Two. One resigns halfway through the project.
5) 10. One to change the bulb and one to explain binary.
6) Is this a dynamically allocated light bulb? |
|
|
|
