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Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.
This confirms that there is no such thing as a good m
an. |
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts. |
My husband said he wanted more space.
So I locked him outside. |
If a man is alone in the forest, and he says something, and there's no woman there to disagree with him.
Is he still wrong? |
| If a couple living together for two years in the state of Tennessee decide to relocate to the state of West Virginia, where they get married, have three children over a seven y
ear period, and then decide to divorce, if after the man moves back to the state of Tennessee, can the couple thereafter still be referred to as brother and sister? |
Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass!"
To
o late - he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem ... If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going
to lose my fucking car!" |
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the sec
ret of their long and happy marriage.
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the lady. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my husband's mule stumbled.
My husband quietly said 'That's once.' We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my husband quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My husband took a pistol from his pock
et and shot him.
I started to protest over his treatment of the mule when he looked at me and quietly said 'That's once.'" |
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man. |
Judi and Jon got married and she was at the drugstore looking at the men's toiletries. A clerk comes up to help her and asks if she needs assistance.
"I'm looking for s
ome deodorant for my new husband Jon, but I don't know what type he uses."
The clerk says, "Is it the ball type?"
"No," says Judi, it's for his underarms." |
A Kentuckian came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"
"OK," replied
the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Say, don't you still have those big red trucks?" |
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