Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilise one egg?
They won't stop to ask directions. |
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home. |
Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework. |
What is the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde?
There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot. |
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud. |
| Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips. |
How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. If the light bulb really needed changing, market forces would have already caused it to happen. |
How many Conservative economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. The invisible hand does it. |
| Old software engineers never die, they just reboot. |
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, carees her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her,
listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked ... with beer. |
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